I am sure I am not the only one. I’m a young mom in early twenties. I have three kids, ages 8, 4 and 1. We are a blended family and by that I mean my husband and I both have children from previous relationships and one together. I work full time and go to school full time. I’m physically exhausted, mentally exhausted and I feel as though my emotions are just drained. Being a parent is hard, being a bonus mom is hard, co parenting with an ex is hard. This stage of my life is really hard.
First, I am in the process of getting my associates degree. I am a full time student. I am taking summer classes right now which total 13 credit hours. I go to school Monday and Wednesdays until 10 pm. When I get out of school I have a thirty minute drive home, take a shower and then use whatever energy I have left to crawl into bed. Throughout the week I get my two kids ready for school, work on my other three classes that are online, blog, work full time and the usual get kids ready for bed and whatever else is thrown into my day. I know in the end school will pay off but I have to keep pushing!
Second, I am working full time. I work seven days a week. I usually start my day at 7:30 am at the gym then head to my busy day of work but I love what I do. I usually don’t get done until after 5 pm. Then I either have school or lots of homework but still come home make the kids dinner and get them ready for bed.
Third, I am a mom. At this stage of life I am dealing with sickness, my daughter keeps breaking out in hives and the doctors refuse to do anything until she is two, the boys schedules, and most days it feels like I am not doing as good as I should be. I always try to add more and more into my day and my husband often gets upset with me about it. He always tells me that we can just stay home we don’t need to be on the go all the time. BUT my kids are growing and boy are they growing oh so fast! I want to create as many memories with them and do things with them before they are busy with their friends and before I know it out of the house starting a life of their own. Being a bonus mom is not always easy either. Co parenting with an ex is not always easy. At this stage of my life I am juggling so much. I know I will miss this however. One day I will wake up and it will be just my husband and I and I will miss the craziness. I will miss being woken up by kids jumping on the bed, I’ll miss rocking my babies to sleep and late fort nights which result in only a couple hours of sleep.
This stage of life I am making so many decisions, opportunities are being thrown at me, and decisions I need to make are being thrown at me. I am constantly asking myself did I make the right choice? Should we buy a house now? Should we stay in this town? Should we buy in the country like we want or in a neighborhood for the kids? What is the best school district? What bank should we go through? How should we punish the kids? Who are we going to visit for the Holidays this year? The questions and decisions never end.
This is the stage in my life where its less about going out with friends and more about play dates with those friends. This stage is less about watching your friends start a life and watching yourself start a life but more about watching the lives build and grow.
Everyday my children ask me at minimum a hundred questions a day. Like a previous blog I posted I also must continue to “date” my husband. I feel overwhelmed, I feel like the hard decisions will never stop.
However, at the same time, this part of my life is breathtaking! I am making memories with my children we will forever cherish. I am creating stronger bonds with my children that will never be broken. We are picking out a house as a family and deciding where we want to create more memories. Like I said above I know one day I will wake up and miss all this. As crazy as it sounds, I will wake up and miss all the moments that led us to where we end up. It seems like anytime I struggle I hear “You’re gonna miss this“, it amazes me this song comes on the radio just when I need to hear it and be reminded. These moments I get to be a kid again. I get to see moments through my kids eyes. I get to see how the little things are all it takes to light up their world! I’ve been able to watch my kids loose teeth, take their first steps, share secrets, grow up so so fast and watch them turn into amazing people that I am so blessed to get to witness. I watch them trick or treat, sports, be involved in church and family parties. Even the times when my phone is ringing off the hook, the kids are fighting, I just started a online quiz that is timed and I have to play referee in those 20 minutes and be able to finish my quiz….I still know I will miss those moments.
I was reminded of all this because of my oldest son telling me he can not wait till hes eighteen. I thought what? Slow down kiddo I am not ready for that. You’ve only come into my life recently and I am not ready for you to be gone just yet. I told him your gonna miss being a kid, your gonna miss living at home, you may not see it now but you will. I told him just have fun and be a kid, your an adult longer then a kid.
I know this stage of our lives is hard. Not only are we faced with all the above but we are filled with tears as we watch these moments come and go. Enjoy the time and if you need reminding turn on “You’re gonna miss this” I promise it will change your whole day!