My Thoughts.

When I tell people I went from having a tubal ligation to a tubal reversal I either get a chuckle or a really stupid shocked look. I guess the easiest way to break it down is to start from the beginning so here it is from yours truly.

Many of you know that I have two children and boy and a girl. I always get typical responses “oh perfect one of each”, or when they learn I had my son first and my daughter second I always get “That’s great so he can protect her.” Honestly if you knew my children you wouldn’t say that as my daughter will definitely be the protector. They are the most incredible blessings. It’s an even bigger blessing to be their mother. In the same, they can drive me crazy, keep me on my toes, I swear some days they need hearing aids and when I put one in timeout the other offers to join so they aren’t lonely.

When I went in to my appointment to see my previous OBGYN I told her I was not in a good place for many reasons. The biggest was that I was in a relationship I kept telling myself would work and that it was just me but that was far from the truth. I was scared to get pregnant again and due to medical issues (that started when I was 16) I was told getting pregnant again would put me as high risk. So I told her to schedule it. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. Next thing I know I was going under for surgery. We never discussed anything prior to the surgery besides the surgery, not birth control or anything. From the moment I woke up I regretted agreeing to the surgery. My daughter is three so for years I talked to many OBGYN’s about the issues and would always get the same answers…that was until I moved to Missouri and met with my current OBGYN to establish. I was discussing another surgery that I needed to have done and that’s when he asked if I wanted more kids. He looked through my records and told me there was hope. He gave me contact information for a specialist and I scheduled an appointment that same week.

I just had my surgery 2/13/18 which is partially why I haven’t been blogging and also trying to mentally prepare myself for the surgery. I was going to have more then one done at the same time. I was having Ovarian Drilling as well as the Tubal Reversal. Plus he was going to check on my cervix as I have had a history of cervical cancer and had surgery on my cervix before. When I woke up my specialist advised me that my previous OBGYN did not document what she had done during my surgery with her correctly and I was missing my entire left tube and my cysts were rupturing. I only have possibly one good tube which is my right. The recovery has been extremely hard. I am always in pain, it is close to a cesarean, and I am just excited and ready to be 100% back to me. Still even so I can have an ectopic pregnancy which I have had before. The other issue is that my surgery could not be successful as far as my tube and still not be able to conceive, at least this way.

I still have many appointments to go to and a long recovery road ahead. Even if the surgery was successful I do not want to get pregnant anytime soon. Right now I love this stage of my life, the people in it and summer is around the corner and I can’t wait to enjoy so many family adventures with my kids and the mister. I am enjoying how my life is right now and I want to soak up all these moments. The days are long but the years are short. I am also still in college and want to finish my degrees as well. For me, at least I may have the option to start trying when I am ready and to me that is the best feeling.

So there it is, and here I am. This is beauty meets chaos and it’s my life. The life I am so blessed to have. The life god gave me. Regardless of the struggles I am very happy.

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